How to negotiate like a woman

I listened to a podcast this week titled, 'How to negotiate like a woman.' I thought it was a powerful piece with takeaways in two key areas: mentorship vs. sponsorship and negotiating advice for women.

Mentors & Sponsors
The first stage of your career is marked by achievement - how competent you are, how hard you work etc. The next stage is about your network of influence - who you're connected to inside and outside your company.  This is often the stage at which a lot of women become stuck in the middle management sphere.  In addition to business acumen, grit, leadership skills etc., pushing through this stage often requires having both mentors and sponsors.

What is the difference between a mentor and a sponsor? Put simply, a mentor is someone who can advise you but ultimately doesn't hold a lot of power in your organization.  A sponsor is someone who is a few levels above you and can open doors by being your champion.

I have had a lot of great mentors in my career.  But Walgreens and the American Medical Association were places where I also had sponsors.  And it made a huge difference to my career.  My sponsors invited me to meetings I wouldn't have otherwise been invited to, further reinforcing my visibility in the organization. They added my name to the hat when it came to important assignments which again gave me opportunities to showcase my skills. But, till I listened to the podcast, I didn't have a name for the relationship and didn't understand how it was different from the mentors I have had.  I also didn't entirely grasp the fact that women are typically "over mentored and under-sponsored".

So, there, now you know.  And now you can act on it.  Regardless of whether you are male or female, think about whether you have a sponsor or not.  If you don't, find one.  If you do, remember to keep the ties in whatever way feels authentic to you.  It could be a skip-level lunch / coffee, an article you share with them, a congratulatory email you send.  You need to figure out what feels right but make sure you invest in the relationship. And, pay it forward.  Be a sponsor for someone who needs one.

Source: CNBC

Negotiating
Negotiating feels tremendously uncomfortable. No doubt. Acc. to a study conducted by Robert Half, 7% of professionals surveyed would rather opt for a root canal than negotiate.  Which sounds crazy but believable.

But I also know the more you practice, the easier it gets. You also start to understand what works for you - the tone, the ask, the timing, the medium etc.

In listening to the podcast, two things jumped out at me: Women are perceived positively when advocating on behalf of others; negatively when advocating on behalf of themselves and on average, women ask for 30% less than men.

So, what can women do to negotiate effectively, especially when negotiating for themselves?  A few tips in the podcast which have worked really well for me:

1. Remain relentlessly pleasant: Aggressive behavior works for men but against women.  So, don't back down but keep your cool.

2. Justify your ask:  Do your research.  Know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement).  Have a pitch for why you are asking what you are asking for.

3. Anchor high: Remember, a man in your shoes is likely going to ask for 30% more.  Go high and that will be the number the person on the other side will anchor to.  Read more on the anchoring bias here.

Last but not the least, become comfortable with silence. When you hear the offer, don't start talking immediately.  Pause and let it sink in for both parties.  It is a simple move to shift the balance of power and very easy to execute on.

Parting words: 'Practice makes perfect' and  'Just ask'. It never hurts. And you will not be left wondering what you left on the table.